Femme Ain't Frail Playlist

On those days when people are out with each other, sitting in coffee shops and chatting about life, I like to take a stroll around the city. Capitol Hill comprises quirky restaurants with great food, small parks with the greenest vegetation, and street art to spark your interest on almost every corner. On days when I have obligations that force me to trek across the city, I can still appreciate the atmosphere.

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Usually, my travel opens my mind and allows me to sort through any anxieties about the day and what I need to accomplish. I don’t ever feel complete without my headphones jammed into my ears while I go. I guess you could say I like a soundtrack to keep me pumped about all the stress in my life.

I pick this particular playlist for when I’m active because it’s uplifting and reflective of my angry feminist angst.

Check out my playlist by clicking the link to my Youtube.

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“Female Energy” by Willow Smith


“Girls Like Girls” by Hayley Kiyoko


“Hold Me Down” by Halsey


“Bad Chick” by SoMo


“Why Don’t You Cry” by Willow Smith


“One Time” by Marian Hill


“Cheerleader” covered by Pentatonix


“Tropicana” by J. Lauryn


“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At the Disco


“Bad Intentions” by Niykee Heaton


“Brick by Boring Brick” by Paramore


“Turn It Around” by Lucius


“Army” by Ellie Goulding


"Don't Let Me Down" by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya

Rolling Stone

This is just a sampling of the music that I like to listen to. Take a listen when you're on a run or commuting. If you have any song suggestions, make sure to leave a comment or connect with me on social media!

4 Ways to be More Confident

I hear my close friends and acquaintances tell me the same thing about their perception of me--I exude confidence. I laugh because I’m the most self-deprecating, socially anxious, and depressed mess one hundred percent of the time. But I’m a hot mess.

Somewhere in my communication and body language, people interpret some false confidence. I perceive their interpretation as false, but maybe it’s not. After repeatedly being told that my confidence is inspirational, I reflected on what exactly they were picking up on.

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1. I take up space.

I learned that the science behind body language is transformative. When you stand like Superwoman, your body responds with confidence. Amy Cuddy conducted a study that concluded when a person takes a “power stance,” it produces neuroendocrine and behavioral responses that contribute to higher confidence.

In taking up this practice, I have more respect for my body and the messages I send in certain contexts. Usually, I will sit in a classroom setting and try to make myself as small as possible so that the professor won’t call on me when I don’t have the answer. When I’m confident about the topics of conversation, I open my body up to indicate to the people around me that I have something to say and it’s important. 

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2. I care about myself more than anyone else.

I grew up in a context that didn’t allow me the freedom to express my thoughts, opinions, needs, or desires. The community around me cared about vastly different perspectives than mine. After a long period of trying to squeeze myself into a box to fit the community, I smashed the hell out of that box and put myself before the community.

Maybe that contrasts something you know about me, which is that I love to help people. I love to liberate and create value around different experiences. I wasn’t able to reach this healthy value without separating myself from the dominant culture that harmed me and reflecting on my own experience. Equipped with the means to help myself, I can help others and reintegrate myself into a community that will help me, too. 

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3. I don’t give a fuck.

Yeah! Fuck you. Fuck that. Fuck this. I’m loud. I curse. I don’t perform how the patriarchy wants me to perform because I DON’T CARE TO. Fuck the man. I have a voice and I don’t give a rat’s ass if you don’t want to hear me.

Don’t get me wrong; I care about some things, like my passions. What I don’t care about is conforming. That often means I have to say “fuck you” to something that may be harming me, even if other people approve of it hurting me.

[To be clear, I am attempting to show the distinction between my expletives being directed at someone in order to harm them versus an external expression of what’s happening internally.]

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4. I’m unapologetic.

My being unapologetic is crucial to my confidence (and arguably a defense mechanism).

I’m conditioned to apologize for bumping into a lamp post. Most of us have had that moment where we laugh at ourselves for apologizing to an inanimate object. Why do we do this? Sure, I am sorry when I bump into someone, but I’m not really that sorry. I just apologize to make the other person feel better, or to escape the embarrassment of taking too much space, or even to keep up the appearances that I’m a kind person.

In order for me to hold onto my confidence, I try not to concern myself with what everyone else is thinking about me or how I measure up to someone else.

I won’t apologize for saying “fuck” all over my blog because this is my context. You’re in my home. If a child under the age of 8 happens to read my blog, I’m not going to apologize or censor myself because I feel that it invalidates my experience of nonconformity to normalized standards. I do try to moderate my behavior based on other contexts, but that moderation drowns my identity most of the time.

I am so used to being “moderate” with my behavior that my genuine emotions seem irrational. I'm often told that my emotions and expressions are, in fact, irrational and should be put under more control, even when I'm certain that my reactions are necessary and revealing. Don't excuse me for being human!

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7 Times I Feel More Cat than Human

For anyone who follows my social media accounts, you've already met the love of my life.

My life with Neville has been the sweetest love story. I met him at a shelter in Colville, Washington after he had been rescued from an accident. The accident infected his tail, which forced him to chew the tail off before the vets could rescue him. I met him under the name of "Chewy" and eventually changed it to Neville Shortbottom. I think it's a much more fitting name for him but just as hilarious.

Previous to adopting Neville, I had only lived two years of my entire life catless while in a college residence hall. I didn't realize until after I adopted him how badly I really needed his companionship. I believe this is because I'm really a cat and I needed another friend to hang out with me. Before you're skeptical, check out this list of reasons I felt more cat than human:

1. I nap excessively. 

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2. I think it's funny to be an asshole sometimes. 

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3. Cuddle time is my favorite time.

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4. I don't like to be touched unless it's cuddle time.

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5. I start screaming when my food is almost gone, too. 

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6. I like books a little too much.

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7. I also like licking other cats.

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Do you have a cat and also feel like it's your true best friend? Snap me a photo with you and your furry BFF! 

Make sure to keep up with me and Neville on Instagram for more wonderful snippets into our lives.